Fat Jesus Reviews: Superbad

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Thursday, 7 February 2013

Celeste and Jesse Forever [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]

Posted on 14:53 by Unknown

I was first introduced to the talents of Rashida Jones on The Office as she played Karen. I think this was a lot of our first introduction to her. She was hilarious, so I always tried to catch a movie or TV show she was on. I love her as Ann Perkins on Parks and Recreation and usually has a good role in whatever movie she's in. Andy Samberg is another story. I love his group The Lonely Island and followed his career on SNL. He's made a few poor movie choices, but I usually like his humor regardless. I went into this only knowing that these two were in it. I was in for something of a surprise with Celeste and Jesse Forever.

Celeste and Jesse Forever follows the stories of Celeste Martin (Rashida Jones) and Jesse Abrams (Andy Samberg). (I'm glad it followed them or I'd would've been thoroughly confused.) We find out early on, through a photo montage, that they are high school sweethearts and get married young. Celeste is a successful trend analyzer who runs her own company with her partner Scott (Elijah Wood). While Jesse is an unemployed artist, not thrilled about finding work. The two end up being in the middle of getting a divorce, but get along way better than any divorcing couple should. It makes their best friends Beth and Tucker (Ari Graynor and Eric Christian Olsen), who are planning their own wedding, very uncomfortable that they are still like this. Celeste and Jesse dismiss the thought that it's wrong they're best friends still. One day while Jesse is with his friend, and weed dealer, Skillz (Will McCormack), he tells him to start dating again. But Jesse is still in the hopes that Celeste will come back around. One night, Celeste calls Jesse to ask for his help in building an IKEA dresser. Both get frustrated, end up drinking a bottle of wine and ultimately they sleep together. The next morning Celeste tells Jesse it was a mistake and Jesse storms out in a rage. Jesse ends up moving out as Celeste goes on a business trip. Celeste tries to call Jesse a lot, to no avail because Jesse has taken Skillz' advice and begins dating Veronica, a girl he was set up with three months prior. When Celeste gets back Jesse calls her and has news that may change the lives of these former high-school sweethearts forever.

This is a helluva emotional movie. There's a ton of tough topics in this one as this is something I've sort of seen happen with a few couples throughout my life. This is not a comedy, should've done some research before going into this, but this does have some laugh out loud lines and moments. Both shine when these moments do happen, but it's hardly the focus of this movie. We see the transformation of a once loving couple into one that hates what the other is doing in life. The beginnings of regret of sorts before compassion and acceptance sets in. Both Samberg and Jones are superb as Jesse and Celeste. You really get to see the development between both characters and they really hold this movie together. The rest of the supporting actors in Ari Graynor, Eric Christian Olsen, Will McCormack, Emma Roberts, Elijah Wood and Chris Messina, all did well and were decent additions to the film. The character development, especially  for Celeste and Jesse was something I really liked. I got into the characters cause I felt myself thinking about things in my own life this kinda parallels to. The whole idea of making the couple one that isn't truly a couple, but one separating, was a pretty cool touch that I don't think I've seen before. There are drawbacks in this though.

The story, while highly innovative, still follows the flow and groove that romantic comedies always fall into. This is partly saved by the witty, at times, dialogue as well as the emotion poured from it. The plot was pretty original for a romantic-comedy, but nothing too unpredicable. More like it was tweaked, but still followed the same formula. Rom-coms never really stray from this, so it's hard to judge them on following the established "way of doing things." You can tell though that the writers, Rashida Jones and Will McCormack, have been through things like this before and put some of their own feelings and emotions into this. So it could've gone to the abysmal, uninspired writing level that a lot of these types of movies fall into. This isn't a terribly long movie, but there are quite a few unnecessary scenes or ones that drag for too long. I hate it when a decent movie is pulled down by this. Also the subplots with the pop star, played by Emma Roberts, being hated by Celeste (and vice versa) is kinda out of place. As well as showing all the failed dates Celeste does go on. I mean the acting is fine, sure, but I'm not 100% behind them being in the film. The music is pretty good throughout. The cinematography was alright, but they could've done a way better job as they used LA as the main city. LA is a beautiful place, muddled by some of the over excessive emotion in this.

Celeste and Jesse Forever to me is the non-Osacr nominated version of Silver Linings Playbook. Both extremely well written romantic comedies, with humor, emotion and good acting. Both do have their flaws, with this movie it's basic rom-com complaints with unneeded and dragging scenes. Both have awesome lead duos and a great supporting cast. The main difference is one is getting Oscar buzz and nominations, while one people will hardly ever see. It's kinda sad to say but Silver Linings Playbook, for me, was an over-hyped movie that turned out to only be decent. While Celeste and Jesse Forever is one I had no opinion on going into, that turned out to be surprisingly decent.


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Posted in Andy Samberg, Ari Graynor, Celeste and Jesse Forever, Elijah Wood and Chris Messina, Emma Roberts, Eric Christian Olsen, Rashida Jones, Will McCormack | No comments

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Gangster Squad [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]

Posted on 19:27 by Unknown

Zombieland is one of my favorite movies from 2009 and 30 Minutes or Less is a pretty underrated comedy from 2011. So when I heard Ruben Fleischer was doing a gangster and noire movie I was quite excited to see it. Add in the fact it's built around the story of Mickey Cohen, with the likes of Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Nick Nolte, Ryan Gosling, Michael Pena and Emma Stone acting, how could this go wrong? Well, for me, it was wrong almost from the get go.

Gangster Squad follows the story of Sgt. John O'Mara (Josh Brolin) as he hunts down the infamous Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn) in LA. We open the movie with Mickey Cohen interrogating a man until he has two cars pull off in opposite directions, tearing the man in half. Meanwhile O'Mara saves a woman from Cohen's thugs and is selected by Chief Bill Parker (Nick Nolte) to head a task-force to catch Mickey Cohen. O'Mara's pregnant wife, Connie (Mireille Enos), helps select the men. They are: a detective, Coleman Harris (Anthony Mackie), a wire-tapper, Conway Keeler (Giovanni Ribsbi), and a gangster killer and his partner Max Kennard and Navidad Rameriz (Robert Patrick and Michael Pena). Turning down an offer is O'Mara's close friend Sgt. Jerry Wooters (Ryan Gosling), who is infatuated with Cohen's girlfriend Grace Faraday (Emma Stone). The two eventually start a secret relationship, but a young boy that Wooters knows is killed after Cohen calls a hit. This causes Wooters rethinks O'Mara's proposition and this new squad has their sights on taking down Mickey Cohen and his organization.

Oh boy, I'm not a fan of this movie. From within the first five minutes I knew this would be a fight for me to finish. Unfortunately I figuratively tapped about around the hour and 20 minute mark of this nearly two hour movie. Length was definitely a problem for me with this one. My other problems start with surprisingly, gore. Like I said in my summary, right off the bat we get a dude getting ripped in half. Also in the early goings you have a man losing his hand to an elevator and three men getting burned alive. These are almost like leftover kills he didn't get to do in Zombieland or something. I don't mind violence in the least, but this was borderline SAW at times. It really didn't fit. The shootout scenes were pretty fun though, I guess. I like old school cars from the period driving up and getting blasted with Tommy guns and other automatic weapons. But the well made violence is few and far between. Most scenes turn into a shootout. If it's not a shootout though it's unnecessary gore.

My other problems come with all these different characters. While there is a ton of acting talent in this movie, there's no denying that, I don't really identify with any of the characters. You have decent development for Sean Penn as Mickey Cohen, Josh Brolin as John O'Mara and the duo of Gosling and Stone as Jerry Wooter and Grace Faraday. But there are still so many other characters that are important to this movie it's almost impossible to get decent development out of everyone. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth there's so many people on screen I just never cared about. The story is pretty good, but it's written so badly and with so much needless dialogue and dragging scenes, it was hard for me to stay into it. I love great dialogue, but this movie has so many back and forths that were just plain uninteresting. Humor, when used, felt forced as well and that's never a good thing either.

I love the crime thriller and gangster genre, but Gangster Squad doesn't live anywhere near up to the genre in any way. I love Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Nick Nolte and Michael Pena. But it was embarrassing to see them in this. Too many characters, who most don't get enough development, in a uninspired story with lackluster acting, amount to huge disappointment. With all this talent and a decent man directing, in Ruben Fleischer, this should've been way better than it was. If it was anything. I wish they had delayed putting this movie out at all. There is nothing redeeming about this movie.


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Posted in Anthony Mackie, Emma Stone, Gangster Squad, Giovanni Ribsbi, Josh Brolin, Michael Pena, Mireille Enos, Nick Nolte, Robert Patrick, Ruben Fleischer, Ryan Gosling, Sean Penn | No comments

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 2 [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]

Posted on 15:30 by Unknown

This is Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 2, and as you may have just read, this is the follow-up and conclusion to Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 1. Based on Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns" arc from 1986, this movie is the conclusion to what you watched in the first movie. So this review might be a tad shorter than it's predecessor but rest assured, I really liked Part 2 more than the first.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 2 starts almost immediately after the events of the first movie. We find out that the President (Jim Meskimen) is not happy with Batman's way of keeping Gotham safe at the moment. He tells Superman (Mark Valley) to have a talk with Batman. Superman tells Bruce that if need be, he'll stop him at all costs. The Joker (Michael Emerson) is shown watching Gotham City debate about the return of Batman (Peter Weller) as well as argue if what he's doing is ethical, etc. His therapist, Dr. Bartholomew Wolper (Michael McKean), comes up and commends his progress and offers to take him to David Endochrine's (Conan O'Brien) talk show to tell his story. Also as Jim Gordon has retired, the new commissioner, Ellen Yendell (María Canals Barrera), has a zero tolerance policy for Batman and issues a warrant for his arrest. Batman knowing The Joker is up to something also heads for the TV show. Batman engages Ellen and the police force on the outside, while on the inside Joker kills everyone in the studio to escape. Superman saves the US from a Soviet nuclear bomb and loses all of this powers for awhile after the explosion, while Batman is still keeping Gotham safe in the controversial way. The President asks Superman if he's up to try and stop the Batman. When Superman says he is, an epic battle between two of DC's biggest heroes ensues.

This movie really improved upon my gripes from Part 1. I really disliked the way Batman was shown as "not getting older." Also the fact that the story was a little lacking and I was looking forward to this movie. Batman is played as not being able to do everything on his own. You see his age come into play. When he gets hurt he doesn't just shrug it off and even with rest you can see that even time affects Batman. He was almost invincible in part 1 and I didn't really get that. The story is a lot better too. From a comic fan stand-point they have everything. Surprise characters, great action and an amazing adaptation. They wrap it up nicely as well. I never had that, "I gotta watch a third movie to see the end of this feeling." Length really wasn't a factor with either of these movies, as I watched them back to back. But neither felt long, had any dragging scenes and they both really kept me engaged till the end.

The animation is still top notch. Gotham has that dark tone and feel is still great. The characters all look great and I really loved seeing The Joker do his thing. The action is a step up I must say. Batman's interactions with Gotham Police are great. The Joker chase throughout the theme park is amazing. Also the fight between Superman and Batman is a wonder to behold. Nothing looks bad and there is a plethora of violence in this. There's also a ton of bloodshed as well. Something I was not expecting, but we are dealing with The Joker. The music is still good and sets the tone depending on the scenes. Finally the voice acting is still on par with the first. Mark Valley as Superman is amazing (SHOUT-OUT TO HUMAN TARGET) as well as Michael Emerson as The Joker. Character development was great throughout both. But I felt more emotionally attached to everyone in this movie more than the first part.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 2 was much better than Part 1. The conclusion to the story was amazing. The action was bigger and the characters were better (in my opinion) and more expansive. The movie, still made by Jay Oliva was more complete and a definite improvement. Adding in Mark Valley, giving Michael Emerson "The Joker" and the cameo by Conan O'Brien were nice little touches. If you're a Batman fan I'm sure you're watching both of these. If you came in and watched Part 2 before (or instead) of Part 1 you wouldn't be too confused as it's still a great stand alone story. This is just a great animated superhero film that improved upon almost everything that was "wrong" with the first part.


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Posted in Ariel Winter, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 2, Conan O'Brien, David Selby, Jay Oliva, Jim Meskimen, María Canals Barrera, Mark Valley, Michael Emerson, Michael Jackson, Michael McKean, Peter Weller | No comments

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 1 [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]

Posted on 12:06 by Unknown

I've always been a fan of both MARVEL and DC animated movies. They allow for more things to be done than live action movies can accomplish. The voice acting is more often than not great and the animation has only gotten better over the years. Also they usually they always follow an origins story or a famous comic series. Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 1 (and subsequently Part 2) follows the Frank Miller story arc "The Dark Knight Returns" from 1986.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 1 follows the story of now 55-year old Bruce Wayne (Peter Weller) after the death of Jason Todd, also known as [the second] Robin. A gang known as The Mutants have taken over and are terrorizing Gotham City. Wayne remains friends with the now 70 year old, and soon to be retiring, Commissioner James Gordon (David Selby). The two meet to talk one night and have drinks since it has been 10 years since Batman was last seen in Gotham. We also find out the the Joker (Michael Emerson) has been in a catatonic state since the last time Batman appeared and that Harvey Dent, aka Two-Face (Wade Williams), has had facial reconstruction surgery. Bruce decides to come out of retirement, ignoring the wishes of Alfred (Michael Jackson). While taking on Harvey Dent, who has had a breakdown, and taking on The Mutants, Batman meets a girl named Carrie Kelley (Ariel Winter). He sees potential in her and takes her under his wing as the new Robin. The two then team up to stop the threatening Mutants from taking over Gotham City.

There was plenty I really liked about this movie. We'll start with the voice acting since no one really seemed out of place. Wade Willams voiced Harvey Dent well, David Selby did great as Gordon and Ariel Winter was really good as Kelley too. Michael Jackson, no not the deceased pop singer, was good as Alfred and Peter Weller was outstanding as Bruce Wayne. No one felt out of place as the movie went on and they all added emotion a depth to who they were playing. Kudos to Jay Oliva for putting this cast together. The animation was great as well. The city looked great, the characters looked good (the aging was perfect) and the fight scenes were amazing. The dark tones of any Batman movie, feature or show always add that Gotham feel. The music was also good and set that dark tone we've come to expect out of a Batman movie  Speaking of fighting and violence there is plenty. The fights between Batman and thugs and or Mutants are brutal and real. While there is no shortage of blood or gun-play as well.

As much as I did like this though, there were a few things that irked me about it. I know Bruce isn't THAT old, but it seemed like he could just jump back into being The Batman with almost no backlash. Sure after the initial return we see Alfred doing some chiropractic work on him. But other than that, this now middle aged man is doing crazy acrobatics, fighting AND taking a beating with almost no repercussions. This thought does change with Part 2, so bear with me. Also this movie felt more like a set-up for Part 2 the whole time. Yes this is a stand alone movie and yes it's done pretty well. But there was always that thought in the back of my head, "This is Part 1, we're getting introduced to everything to set up Part 2." Part 1 does a great job or getting me into the Gotham, people, thoughts and characters, but left me feeling like Part 2 was gonna be more expansive with a better "ending." It still was a great first part that did leave me anticipating watching how everything would unfold.

All in all Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 1 is a great animated flick. It's got the action, tone, characters and especially that same old Batman that we've all come to love. The voice acting was good and couple that with the good animation and good story you've got a decent animated flick. This will leave you hungering to find out how the rest of the story plays out in Part 2. If you like any of the MARVEL or DC animated movies so far you'll like this movie. But think it'll take watching both parts to get a casual fan on board with this movie.


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Posted in Ariel Winter, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 1, David Selby, Jay Oliva, Michael Emerson, Michael Jackson, Peter Weller, Wade Williams | No comments

Monday, 4 February 2013

Indie Game: The Movie [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]

Posted on 16:18 by Unknown

I love video games. Been playing them for as long as I can remember. Growing up with the newest Nintendo and SEGA consoles was a blast and it really propelled me to keeping up with video games my whole life. But this movie is a documentary about those lesser known games that have aptly been given the title of "indie games." Indie games have been around since the early 2000s but only recently, with the ability to put them online, have they really flourished. Indie Game: The Movie chronicles the inception, making and even the pitfalls of three of biggest ones released to date. James Swirsky and Lisanne Pajot have made one of the best video game movies I've seen. 

Indie Game: The Movie follows the making-of stories, development if you will, of the video games: Braid, Super Meat Boy and Fez. As well as their respective makers: Johnathan Blow, Team Meat (Edmund McMillen and Tommy Refenes) and Phil Fish. Johnathan Blow was really one of the first indie game successes back in 2008 when Braid was released. Blow is quoted in saying that he made the game to help pour his "deepest flaws and vulnerabilities" into it. The game garnered widespread success and was the second best selling game on Xbox Live Arcade in 2008. Edmund McMillen and Tommy Refenes from Team Meat, set out to make Super Meat Boy for different reasons. They wanted to make a game that reflected their childhood as they loved video games growing up. McMillen states that he wants to be able to communicate what he's thinking and feeling to others through his games. Super Meat Boy debuted on Xbox Live Arcade through "Game Feast" in 2011 and doubled Braid's sales on it's first day with 20,000 units sold in it's first 24 hours up. Finally Phil Fish had been making Fez for about four years at the time of the making of this documentary. At the Independent Games Festival of 2008 Fez was critically acclaimed and made Phil into an indie superstar. Unfortunately Fish had a falling out with his business partner, he lost his funding as well as some family members. Not much about the game was known leading into the Penny Arcade Expo in 2011. PAX 2011 was Phil's ultimate goal in putting out demos of his almost completed project. Indie Game, in detail, follows the production, lives, stories and development of the three indie games and the people behind them.

I haven't seen too many documentaries, aside from Super Size Me and Religulous, which I did enjoy. But this one really caught my interest due to my immense liking of Team Meat's games Super Meat Boy (the one featured in this film) and his newest release to date The Binding of Isaac. I wouldn't say I'm a casual gamer, but I'm far from a hardcore one. This being said most of the "gamer" speak or references to production of video games won't go over anyone's head. To be able to have interviews and cameras following the behind the scenes of one of the best platforming games I've ever played, in Super Meat Boy, was one of the reasons I loved this documentary. This isn't the only reason though. Following the thought processes and reasons why these developers made these games and how they came into the industry, life stories and current lives, is a pleasure to watch. I love behind the scenes featurettes on DVD and BluRay's, so documentaries highly engage me and if you're anything like me, all this information is awesome.

This is the part of a review where I usually go over character, actor or character development. Not much point in doing this with a documentary. I can go over the personalities of sorts with all involved. Johnathan Blow came off as a very stoic man that truly went though a lot before and in the making of Braid. I liked his ideals and reasons for wanting to make his game. Team Meat is probably the developers I know the most about of the three profiled in the movie. I'm avidly on the site Twitch.tv and I try to frequent a channel by the name of Danielleorama. This channel is owned and run by Edmund McMillen's wife Danielle. Ed (as well as Tommy) is frequently on there and they give great insight into the games they make as well as their lives. I've come to agree and be fascinated by the thought processes of this awesome group of people. Phil Fish is a guy I really had no idea about before this and sometimes I think the way he's portrayed is more of emotional and evil, so to speak. While I don't think he's evil, that's an absurd thought, but there are some thoughts and scenes were there's a lot he says I don't agree with. While I don't deny he's a great developer, sometimes Phil's thoughts do irk me a bit.

This documentary is more like a movie than the previous two I've seen. They way the three stories are told and intertwined is like watching a story you don't know the ending to unfold. Even knowing a lot about Team Meat going into this, their story (and the overall story) was still engaging and worth the watch. I loved watching the conception, explanation, creation and production of these three games. If you're a video game fan like me, or you just happen to like any (or all) of these games, don't hesitate to give this a watch. You'll learn about great games and some great people as well.


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Posted in Braid, Edmund McMillen, Fez, Indie Game: The Movie, James Swirsky, Johnathan Blow, Lisanne Pajot, Phil Fish, Super Meat Boy, Team Meat, Tommy Refenes | No comments

Parker [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]

Posted on 11:35 by Unknown

I've always been a Jason Statham fan. Some of my favorite adrenaline filled action flicks are Transporter 1 and 2 and Crank. I can't say that anything Jennifer Lopez has ever done has interested me, but she is far from another reason I gave this a shot. Nick Nolte, who I loved in Hotel Rawanda and Tropic Thunder is in this as well Wendell Pierce who was superb as Bunk on The Wire. I love a good action flick and I love the intrigue of a crime-thriller, like Parker is labeled as, but this is movie that suffers from one fatal flaw. It's terrible.

Parker follows the story of  Parker (Jason Statham). A novel idea eh? Parker is a professional thief that is assigned by his mentor, Hurley (Nick Nolte), to do a job with four people: Melander (Michael Chiklis), Carlson (Wendell Pierce), Ross (Clifton Collins Jr.) and Kroll (Daniel Bernhardt). The job goes well expect for one part that doesn't go as Parker planned. He gets mad and wishes not to participate in a follow-up heist. The four shoot him and leave him for dead. A family driving by happens upon him and saves him. Parker escapes the hospital and tells Hurley that he's going to South Beach to get revenge of the four who did this to him. Parker travels to South Beach under an assumed alias of Daniel Parmett, a man from San Antonio, Texas. He meets Leslie Rodgers (Jennifer Lopez), a depressed, overworked and unsuccessful real estate agent. She is poor, going through a divorce and living with her mother. Leslie takes Parker around to look at houses, very happy at the prospect that she may finally get a commission. Leslie begins to become suspicious of Parker when she notices his interest in another one of her clients, Rodrigo. Rodrigo, who is really Melander, and the rest of his crew are planning a huge heist. Now it's up to Parker and an unlikely ally in Leslie, to get vengeance on this group of thieves.

This was a long watch that had almost no pay-off for me. Parker is nearly two hours and this is one of those movies where you want the end to come, but it seems like it never does. The story is fairly standard though. Nothing mind-blowing, simply there to facilitate the progress of the movie. Parker is man of principle. Things go awry and he gets angry. Something bad happens to him and he is set on vengeance until he gets it. A hot girl is thrown in the mix to "keep our attention"or something along those lines. Though in this movie, Leslie serves almost no purpose. Her being thrown in is beyond me and any scenes with her and/or her mother are almost completely pointless. From a character stand-point there's isn't much if any character development either, even with Parker. You get a glimpse of his past a few times and even some of Hurley's as well. But as a whole it just end up becoming a bunch of tough guys planning a heist while one wants revenge with a tag along girl.

Bringing me to the acting and action. The fight and heist scenes were done well, so there's one positive thing I can take about this movie. Jason Statham is probably one of the best action stars of the new generation. So the fighting and gun-play scenes come natural to him. Nick Nolte plays an okay role as his mentor as well. The rest of the thugs, so the speak, are mostly just there to be muscle and get the jobs done. Kinda sad since Michael Chiklis and Wendell Pierce are pretty good actors. Jennifer Lopez on the other hand is God-awful. There is nothing redeeming about her annoying character. Despite me not being fond if her work, it makes me wonder what people think they see in her as an actor. The dialogue  aside from the opening scene with Statham is pretty bland and forgettable. Nothing anyone said stuck with me. The music was standard action stuff, the cinematography was nothing to get excited over and (like I said above) the plot and story are far below average at best. I can keep harping on the bad of this movie, but that's all this movie is.

Like you can probably tell, to me this movie has almost anything that should make anyone want to watch it. Lead, although a great action star, has a bland character to play. The rest of the good actors in this are forgettable, one dimensional characters. Finally the lead actress, is wholly annoying and pointless up until the very end. The plot, story and direction of Parker is a complete mess. If you HAVE to see the Statham action parts of this movie, look them up on YouTube or something and save yourself two hours. I really wish I could get my time back.


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Posted in Clifton Collins Jr., Daniel Bernhardt, Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Michael Chiklis, Nick Nolte, Parker, Wendell Pierce | No comments

Friday, 1 February 2013

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters [A Fat Jesus Movie Review]

Posted on 17:11 by Unknown

This movie is one that intrigued me to say the least. I don't mind fairy tales, I like action, I like senseless violence in movies and Jeremy Renner is pretty awesome. He's growing into almost a Jason Statham Jr. over the past few years. Never seen anything with Gemma Arterton in it, but RocknRolla was always a movie that has also intrigued me. One of the more surprising things I found out, doing the research I do after watching a movie, is that Will Ferrell and Adam McKay were producers for this movie. Big screen funny man and director funny man were involved in something like this is kinda outta left field. Now if only they could've got some comedic stars and a good script, this..well could've been good.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters follows the story of the classic fairy tale duo of children Hansel and Gretel (Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton). After they escape the old witch and burn her alive, as told by the old tale, they then spend the next 15 years hunting and killing witches. Things come naturally to them, as for an unknown reason, they are immune to all the powers and spells of a witch. One day, in the town of Augsberg, they save a girl, Mina (Pihla Viitala), from falsely being executed as a witch. Turns out the Mayor, Englemann (Rainer Brock), has hired Hansel and Gretel to help find children who have been taken from the village by witches. That night, Muriel (Famke Janssen) a power grand witch, kills a group of witch hunters and send one back alive to warn the town not to get involved. The siblings discover that the witches are collecting children to preform the ritual of Blood Moon. They enlist the help of a fan boy who's been following all the exploits of Hansel and Gretel, Ben (Thomas Mann). Gretel also meets a new friend who happens to be a troll, in Edward (Derek Mears (Voiced by Robin Atkins Downes)), who helps her out of a jam. It'll take all Hansel, Gretel and crew has to try and stop Muriel from completing one of the worst rituals ever imagined.

Well this movie certainly had a lot more blood than I was expecting. During almost every scene someone is bleeding, getting blown away with steam punk-esque shotguns or with the use of witches magic. This is a gore-fest if there ever was one. So if you like your movies blood-filled this is right up your alley. The story is pretty lame, as I lost interest pretty quickly. Not saying it isn't imaginative and "classic tale, new twist" like the tag line, but to me it just got boring. I'm fine with knowing that Hansel and Gretel escape the old witch and then live happily ever after. This turns them into vigilantes of sorts, and while it's bad ass, it's not really suited for a full length movie. The action is alright too I guess. Jeremy Renner definitely brought it, with both screen presence and in the hand to hand combat or gun fight scenes. But the rest, is like I said above, was done with overly gory blood explosions.

The acting was something. Renner and Aterton did well as the leads. Hansel and Gretel are written well enough to be able to play off of each other. Thomas Mann, as Ben, was a bit of comic relief as he's the overly excited fanboy. While the siblings are more stoic and grounded in what they do. Famke Janssen as Muriel the evil witch was decent I suppose and Mina, Pihla Viitala, is alright throughout as well. The rest feels like a one off carousel of townspeople and witches that almost ALL die by the time the credits roll. Nothing in terms of a huge amount of character development as the whole cast almost gets killed after five to ten minutes on screen. Nothing standout, but in the end, nothing really disappointing. The music, dialogue  cinematography and anything else you can think of was all middle of the road as well. Nothing good, but like most of this movie, nothing terrible either.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is a highly original idea that doesn't really pan out well as one would hope. While you find yourself wanting this to kick in as you watch it, it just never really does. The acting, action, story all feel uninspired. It soon becomes how many different ways can we incorporate steam punk weapons into killing witches in huge explosions of blood. That being said if you go into this wanting to see a lot of cleavage, blood spatter and a creative fairy-tail twist on killing witches, you'll probably get a kick out of this. But for me it just doesn't do it and adds yet another disappointing movie to the list of 2013 movies to come out so far.


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Posted in Derek Mears, Famke Janssen, Gemma Arterton, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Jeremy Renner, Pihla Viitala, Rainer Brock, Robin Atkins Downes, Thomas Mann | No comments
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